Wednesday, September 19, 2012

i want to remember


 
i want to remember that feeling that washes over me when i am in the presence of small children.
the connections that form with passing by babies and the affection shared with my nieces and nephews.
the genuine energy that transfers between us.
that feeling of joy that bubbles up in me while i am interacting with the gr.1's in my friend's classroom.
i go to help her, but really, those little ones are helping me.
 
 
i want to remember what a miracle and gift every moment spent with the curly haired girl is and just how far she has come since last year. how far i have come. how much she has taught me about myself and the power of uconditional love.
sounds corny i know,
but i know that i know,
 love saved us.
 
 
 
i want to remember how sunny and warm this September is.
i want to remember how much i love it when the bathrooms are clean.
i want to remember that there is a special place reserved in my heart for him.
and that doesn't make my heart smaller, it makes it more open.
i want to remember that the garden will be there next year and every season is an experiment.
i want to remember that i love having the house this full of loved ones.
i want to remember just how good of a cook my boy has become.
 
 
i want to remember how much time we spend watching the Food Network and while it feels like a ridiculous waste of time, it isn't.
i want to remember that these sleepless nights will pass and soon there will be rest again.
that is how the cycle goes.
it is okay.
 
i want to remember the promises i've made.
especially the promises i've made to Owen.
 
 
promises that move us forward together even while i sometimes need to travel back.
i want to remember just how much he loves me. just how much.
that first love, crazy love he holds for me.
 i am honoured.
i want to remember that.
 
i want to remember that each time i am able to stay in this moment. the one that is happening right now, i am creating an authentic life for myself. one that doesn't reside in the place of fear and hopelessness, but a life that is overflowing with abundance and love.
 
i want to remember the whispers that i am hearing about what my future holds for me.
i want to remember that books fall into my life at the perfect time and they feel as though they were written for me for a reason...they were.
i want to remember the sweet smell of blacberry jam that filled the kitchen this month.
i want to remember the long summer days spent at the farm.
 
 
so much to remember today.
what do you want to remember?
 
 

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