my instagram/secret message friend Mandy asked a question

 that caused me to stop and pay attention today.

 

"how do you feel about exposing your roots?"

 

i am currently in great need of a hair dye but those are not the roots she refers to i am quite certain.

 

my roots.

what holds me steady.

where i come from.

my past.

the memories and experiences that keep me grounded and solid and upright when the winds howl around me.

 

my faith. my family. my sweet memories. my travels. my mistakes. my secrets. my old stories. my first loves. my shame. my victories. my crashing defeats. my story. my birth. my growth. my encounters with so many kindreds

 

how do i feel about exposing my roots?

the easy stories are fine to share. the sweet ones make good conversations over cups of tea.

the adventure and brave stories bolster me for future endevours

 

but what about the roots that are there due to mistakes and heartache and deep grief?

do i want you to know about those ones?

do they deserve the same recognition as the easier stories?

 

is it even a good idea?

is there a need to travel back in time to discover why i am who i am today?

how much of our roots can we expose and still stay standing?

 

i am betting alot.

 

vulnerability and honesty are the paths i have chosen.

it's a given that roots are going to be exposed.

 

but then there is this small question that begs to be asked as well

 

 is it even my roots that keep me standing?

perhaps it is my present.

 

oh!

 the questions that ache to be explored and journaled and tested and tasted.

 

i intend to never stop questioning.