i am blessed with a long list
of people who have come in and out of my life
and i have loved them all.
i can say that without the slightest hesitation
because i am a believer and a practicer
of big love.
love that swoops in sudden and fierce
and takes over my heart
and causes it to stretch and get bigger.
love that compells me to
try to make a difference in each life i encounter.
that i am at a place in my life
where i can trust
the process of letting go.
releasing those that need to leave me
in order for more love to happen.
this has not come easy
and at the end of today when i say
my final goodbyes to two dear souls
there will be heartache and tears
but it is easier than in the past.
it is easier than i thought it would be
even a month ago -
growth is happening.
i know that each time i risk loving someone
so fully and so completely
my life will become more abundant and blessed
i have and continue to learn and be gifted from
each love encounter i undertake.
but it is a risk.
there is great pain that comes with this practice of big love.
too many goodbyes it seems
and sometimes alot of heartache and
disappointment, sleepless nights, sacrifices,
tears and grief.
but the gifts always outweigh the sorrow
my heart is so much bigger than it was two years ago
filled to overflowing with
daily, consistent instances of love given and love returned
(today we danced with childlike abandon in the kitchen together)
each person- little and big
that has been a part of my life
has taught me more about love than i thought possible.
i hold them, i hold you
in my heart.
and i say goodbye to my dear madison and tejan
and send them on their way to become
brave.strong and true.