Wednesday, January 1, 2014

today arrived

January 1st arrived. 

Despite my refusal to create 
end of year blog posts, my year in photo reviews,
lists to-dos, word choosing, resolutions, project ideas.

Despite all my boycotting of all those above good and wonderful practices
that I have for so many years participated in and loved oh so much.
Even with my wavering around this brand new
 "i will do nothing" stance 
despite the occasional
(well, frequent i suppose) 
lamenting  about how strange it felt,

today arrived.

and with today came an
unexpected feeling of anticipation and newness
that hadn't required any pre planning on my part.
{well, imagine that!}

conversations began to happen, 
unfold, and grow 
between owen and myself,
between my heart and my head

and i realized that fear,
fear of failure, fear of quitting, 
of not being able to sustain, 
to maintain, 
of not succeeding
that was what this boycotting was actually all about.
fear
was standing right there
 on my path that leads me forward
blocking my way and my view.


i still have no intentions of resolution lists to be made in haste so i am not behind,
there will be no new grand projects.
 however
 realizing that it was a fear of failing 
and saying
"hello! 
this is not how i am choosing to start today" 
allowed for a shift.


 Suddenly there was new energy flowing
and i found myself free
 to see and remember
 what i might choose to embark on
{today}
that would bring me joy.

renewing my commitment to my gratitude's.
but with a twist.
not in a notebook as in the past
 but through my IG photo stream
with a fun new hash-tag
#lovemylife2014

starting a new commitment to doing.
not in a 
"i must perform to be worthy doing",
but a
"you got this Tania, no go do it"
doing.
{that feels good}
and has a hash-tag too!
#stopknowingandstartdoing



-insert laughing at myself here for my intense love affair with Instagram-

i am happy to have cleared the path today.
it's steep..i can see that again, but so much longer and friendlier 
with the fear pushed aside for today.

xox


 
 

 



 

 
 



6 comments:

  1. Yes. Yes. Yes. This. You. Blessings, sweet darling.

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    1. Much love sweet Erin! Thanks for always being here xo

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  2. Love this. Isn't is funny how life doesn't wait on us to join in? Pushes us, ready or not! I am so glad to see you are on instagram. You have a new follower.

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    Replies
    1. Yes!
      And I appreciate that we are connected on IG:)

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  3. I love that 'today arrived' despite the non-doing! so true. There is an energy there anyway! will check out IG. Wishing you many blessings for the new year! Heather x

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    Replies
    1. Blessings to you amd yours as well Heather. Xo

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