sweet smells.

 

"sweet smells are running up and down the earth kissing every nose"

-emily carr-

 

i have been learning about the difference between

 loneliness and solitude,

laziness and rest,

 treatments and healing,

 hanging on and letting go,

shadows and light.

 

 

 

opposites.

 and sometimes not.

i am

always learning and i am doing most of it

in my backyard, which i have become so fond of

 this spring,

 i am always so fond of my backyard space in the spring,

when the grass is still green

and the lilacs lay heavy their scent all over me

and there are perenials making their faithful appearance.

 

i sit in my chair,

learning about rest and relaxation

  accepting that it is not laziness

and honouring the progress in my thinking.

 

i watch my feelings swing between

 oh so lonely

to

 oh so grateful for the solitude

and i remember not to take myself too seriously because after all,

everything changes in the blink of an eye around here.

 

i am watching myself embrace the journey

of medication

and dietary restrictions

{again}

 

 

 

as i hold onto the hope that there is an answer

if i keep on looking and it has everything to do with healing

and also requires some treatment.

{balance has come}

 

and all the while,

the spring blooms wrap themselves around me

 with their scent,

 their colours,

 their floating petals

 and dancing Columbine petticoats.

 

i am intoxicated with spring this year.

i can not get enough of her.