Monday, June 20, 2011

fluctuating emotions...

it's one of those days.
you know the ones?
 where you start out feeling optimistic and ready for the day
but by the end there is a bone aching weariness that has crept in
and is trying to take over every inch of your being?
yup. that's me right now.
 i had some great moments today- i made plans with friends we haven't seen for
way too long.
i giggled and cuddled and loved on the little ones.
i shared moments with two of my four
and with owen too.
but i also was at a loss for words a few times today.
not sure if what i was doing was completly right or completly wrong.
i was criticized today and have been unable to let those words roll off my back as they need to.
i am too tired to do the dishes or fold the laundry or even think about sweeping the floor.
and if i could, i would crawl into bed right now
but it is only 730 and i am too old to go to bed at 730.
sometimes i envy the little ones who get to have a warm bath and get tucked into bed so early.
i just wish there was some way to ride the roller coaster of my day
and not feel so tossed around.
seriously. i have been working with people for over 20 years
and i still don't have thick enough skin to make it through the rough moments of a day
without having a personal reaction.
i asked owen if i would ever grow thick skin....
he doesn't think so.
apparantly it is part of my "charm" and part of what makes me who i am.
i need to figure out a way to manage my reactions to others words and actions
and leave what isn't mine with who it belongs to
and carry forward only what is meant for me right?

No comments:

Post a Comment