fluctuating emotions...

it's one of those days.

you know the ones?

 where you start out feeling optimistic and ready for the day

but by the end there is a bone aching weariness that has crept in

and is trying to take over every inch of your being?

yup. that's me right now.

 i had some great moments today- i made plans with friends we haven't seen for

way too long.

i giggled and cuddled and loved on the little ones.

i shared moments with two of my four

and with owen too.

but i also was at a loss for words a few times today.

not sure if what i was doing was completly right or completly wrong.

i was criticized today and have been unable to let those words roll off my back as they need to.

i am too tired to do the dishes or fold the laundry or even think about sweeping the floor.

and if i could, i would crawl into bed right now

but it is only 730 and i am too old to go to bed at 730.

sometimes i envy the little ones who get to have a warm bath and get tucked into bed so early.

i just wish there was some way to ride the roller coaster of my day

and not feel so tossed around.

seriously. i have been working with people for over 20 years

and i still don't have thick enough skin to make it through the rough moments of a day

without having a personal reaction.

i asked owen if i would ever grow thick skin....

he doesn't think so.

apparantly it is part of my "charm" and part of what makes me who i am.

anyhow,

i need to figure out a way to manage my reactions to others words and actions

and leave what isn't mine with who it belongs to

and carry forward only what is meant for me right?