this makes it sound alright.

as i've been thinking about where i am at right now

and how i need to move forward and be supported in that movement

there has been such a comfort in being able to rely on what i know about supported learning and now applying it to myself.

the zone of proximal development briefly and in simple terms is recognizing what a learner can do without help and what he/she can do with help.

and then allowing that learner to follow another's example and gradually develop the ability to do certain tasks without help.

so, a mentor, a guide, an example, an inspiration.

all perfectly wonderful support systems that used to always be in place with smaller communties and tight knit families and deep relationships.

for me, being able to frame a need within an educational context helps me accept it as alright because i have always believed that part of being congruent in what i model for others means i should also be willing to use the strategy myself if necessary.

(i don't think i ever thought it would be necessary at some deep level though..oh the undoing of pride and the walking in humility is such a curious process)

so in regards to the aspects of my life that are struggling it seems very acceptable to find support and also to recognize what is going very well and what is managable for me as well as recognize what is not managable, accept those limitations and make a support plan to move forward.

fun.

risky and vulnerable.

inspiring hope.

feelings of self doubt rising to the surface.

it's a mixed bag of emotions here let me tell you.

then, in my reading and digging i find this quote and i know that it is going to be alright.

"the zone of proximal development defines functions that have not matured yet,

but are in a process of maturing, that will mature tomorrow,that are currently in an embryonic state; these functions could be called the buds of development, the flowers of development, rather than the fruits of development, that is, what is only just maturing.

!!!!

i understand the language of buds and flowers and fruits  and that there is no character flaw in any stage.

each stage of developement serves a vital place in the full maturation of any living organism.

even me.

 every one, including myself needs to continually rebirth and in that there will be stages where i am not completly mature... but this is okay..the fruit is coming. in the right season...and some of the fruit has already matured and fallen or been used by others to strenghten them in their journey.

i am creating lists today.

my assets..what is going well. what i have to offer. what i have mastery over. what is easy and successful for me

and,

what i need to be supported in. where i actually just can't do it alone, even though i have been trying.

these are the areas that i need to call in the examples to follow.

so if i start asking for help, don't be suprised.