noticing

74 hours in to my fast and i am working hard at being an observer.

6 hours in and my brain was screaming for food.

that passed

27 hours in and my stomach started cramping and growling.

it was finally truly hungry i guess.

that passed

day 2 passed by fairly easily

i kept my thoughts focused on the hunger sensations and our lack of every experiencing it truly in our culture.

i counted this experience as a blessing and a learning opportunity.

i thought of those that are hungry all the time

i thought about

why i want to get well and what opportunities i am missing by being sick

i am proud of how i handled yesterday.

and then last night,

around the 60 hour mark i noticed a shift.

my emotions became very close to the surface and i needed to continually remind myself that i needed to just observe the feeling and let it go.

fought back the tears by reminding myself that this is all temporary.

the tears stopped

today is hard.

today my mind is angry.

so angry and i am suprised by this.

you would think i would be too weak to be angry but not so.

again,

i am observing this, watching the wind blow in the trees outside my window and remembering

all this is temporary. the feelings and physical sensations come and then they leave

as long as i don't allow them to master me.

(let's be very honest though, i am very hungry. and thirsty all the time. this is not an easy path.)

breathing deep.

accepting help.

lots of rest .

water

hands to hold me steady when i walk

baths

affirmations and gratitude.

this is what i am practicing at 74 hours.