Tuesday, April 9, 2013

a piece of the story.

as someone who is strongly moved by images
and one who documents my day
and attempts to share my story
through the photos i take, the journal pages i make,
the words i type or print
i am very aware that i am sharing only
a piece of the story.
moments before this image was taken
i had hit my face so hard with that shovel that i saw stars
and could barely stand up straight.
that wallop to my face set me back for an entire day
and while it didn't prevent me from returning to my beloved garden
it certainly reminded me of my physical limitations
 and just how much
 an ear ringing headache can hurt.
when i look at the image now,
and for some when it showed up on my instagram feed,
i see a woman in love with her life.
i see peace and i see contentment.
i see myself leaning into my life and embracing it fully.
at that moment,
i was seeing stars. and remembering to breathe.
photos tell me what i want to see. what i want to feel. to remember
they lead me down deep emotional paths.
an image will capture my heart so quickly i don't even understand myself some days.
they speak my language.
i can create stories for myself from the images i take,
the images i collect and cut and paste onto my journal page
and i can use them to propel me forward, to remind me of who i was, who i am , who i want to be.
i can and do create my future plans with image collecting practices.
they show a piece of my story.
i want to live an authentic life.
this is a value i hold dear.
i am tired of hiding, of pretending. of being someone i am not.
images are holding my hand, helping me transition from being a pleaser of others,
to an honourer of myself.
my camera helps me do that gracefully and safely.
sometimes my words get me into trouble
or are too big for me to say
 or just don't know how to come out
 and join the conversation.
often, my images speak for me.
i fill in the blanks if asked
but the photo has been the introduction i sometimes need.
pink was following me on the day i took this one.
ever since i have experienced such lovely closure
with my birth story
i am finding pink continues to follow me.
seeks me out..hops in front of me,
as if to say,
i am propelled toward the seed packets
 that boast beautiful pink blooms.
{i find this fascinating and buy them, trusting the process}
it's as if my photos
that i snap, fairly casually throughout my day
have become markers for me. holders of my pieces.
that feels good.
knowing they are there.
just hanging out, waiting for when i need to remember.
or not.

1 comment:

  1. Fascinating! I'm a words girl myself...just beginning to respond to (and create) images...so this was a little window into a different awareness.