owen comes home to return to work
hannah returns to school
to what feels like
seem to imply a break from the regular routine of life
and that when you return from that vacation
you will resume what you were previously doing.
i was getting well
and that hasn't happened yet
and so i am in the place that has no beginning and end
the place of doing
it is a hard place to be
and is making re-entry difficult
i am not sure what it means
but i know it feels
yucky and hard and selfish and just not me.
it is not where i want to be
yet here i am.
i need to remember that i am enough
that my contribution is enough
that this is okay.
that i am not defined by what i do
but by who i am
i tell you