watching the bloom

 

we are leaving

tomorrow

for our trip to Thailand

and each time

 i let my heart remember

why we are going,

i am overcome

with gratitude

and so amazed by grace.

 

yes we are going to see the elephant

and the floating market

and we will be visiting a temple or three

and most certainly

we are going to soak up the sun

and marvel at the landscape and the

kindness of the people.

yes,

we are going for a much needed holiday.

a break.

but the reason we are going

is where the grace comes in.

 

when the curly haired girl returned home

last December we were starting anew.

there were thin threads that connected us and

we all were neck-deep in the trauma of the Fall.

she and i needed a way to reconnect to each other.

we needed to become bound together again

and we did so by dreaming.

of Thailand

 

such a small fragile seed that was,

cupped in my hands and breathed over with hope.

we spoke often,

sitting on the couch, sharing pots of tea

of our love of travel

*she has been to Costa Rica and Mexico before*

and we found common excitement and purpose

together again.

 

tiny dream

that now, a year later is

26 hours away from becoming a reality.

 

a year ago,

the idea of owen, hannah and i

doing anything together

was so far from what we were experiencing.

my journal entries remind me of the silence, the anger, the begrudging exchanges.

yet now,

i watch as she chooses

family over and over again

i listen as laughter rings through our home

and i anticipate a trip that not only

connects us with elephants and the beauty of Thailand

but a trip that will

bind our hearts even tighter than they already are.

 

so much grace has been given to us.

i am beyond grateful for our second chance together

as a mama and her girl.