how easily i abandon what is important to me.

 

-a collection of forgotten dishes left behind by a very sweet girl-

 

not people

i don't abandon them.

at least i try my best not to.

 

i am thinking more

about

dreams and intentions and ideas that i really wanted to pursue

and the curiosities that i had.

 

{and remember all we promised ourselves when we were small

and nothing was impossible?oh, me too! such plans i had.}

 

i easily abandon those

and move on to fill the space

with new dreams and intentions

and ideas that i really want to pursue

and all the new curiosities

i have discovered i am curious about.

 

 this bothers me a little.

just a little bother

but enough that i thought it

important enough

to sit with my stack of journals

and

remember.

 

i really wanted to ride a bike often

and i also was very curious about anthropology.

i desired and still do,

to go to Haiti

and i spent alot of time

wishing i could wear high heels.

 

i wanted to practice my gratitude journal faithfully

and i promised to art journal everyday.

i intended to stop eating sugar and start exercising

at least 3x a week.

i was going to share my poems here i this space

and have people for dinner at least once a week.

 

i had books to read

and clutter to clear

and handmade body products to make

and bread recipes to try

and gardens all planned out

i was going to cook my friend dinner once a week

and

i am sure learning to swim felt most urgent.

 

and there were the secret wishes

and the deep dark desires

and the questions that have no answers lists

 

i felt like i was stepping back in time

even though it was only a stack of last year and a bit more

 

as each day became the next

and filled up with life

some of those did happen

and so many of them didn't

and while i deemed them all

so.very.important.

at the moment

only some of them now hold that same weight

 

and those are the ones

that now,

in this shiny new year

 have returned to my list

they are the ones

that make up my creative and daily habits

 of my now.

at least until i replace them with new ones.

 

oh life.

i do love you so.