Friday, January 4, 2013

how easily i abandon what is important to me.

-a collection of forgotten dishes left behind by a very sweet girl-
not people
i don't abandon them.
at least i try my best not to.
i am thinking more
dreams and intentions and ideas that i really wanted to pursue
and the curiosities that i had.
{and remember all we promised ourselves when we were small
and nothing was impossible?oh, me too! such plans i had.}
i easily abandon those
and move on to fill the space
with new dreams and intentions
and ideas that i really want to pursue
and all the new curiosities
i have discovered i am curious about.
 this bothers me a little.
just a little bother
but enough that i thought it
important enough
to sit with my stack of journals
i really wanted to ride a bike often
and i also was very curious about anthropology.
i desired and still do,
to go to Haiti
and i spent alot of time
wishing i could wear high heels.
i wanted to practice my gratitude journal faithfully
and i promised to art journal everyday.
i intended to stop eating sugar and start exercising
at least 3x a week.
i was going to share my poems here i this space
and have people for dinner at least once a week.
i had books to read
and clutter to clear
and handmade body products to make
and bread recipes to try
and gardens all planned out
i was going to cook my friend dinner once a week
i am sure learning to swim felt most urgent.
and there were the secret wishes
and the deep dark desires
and the questions that have no answers lists
i felt like i was stepping back in time
even though it was only a stack of last year and a bit more
as each day became the next
and filled up with life
some of those did happen
and so many of them didn't
and while i deemed them all
at the moment
only some of them now hold that same weight
and those are the ones
that now,
in this shiny new year
 have returned to my list
they are the ones
that make up my creative and daily habits
 of my now.
at least until i replace them with new ones.
oh life.
i do love you so.


  1. There just isn't time in life for everything we'd like to be interested in, is there? *sigh* But I do so enjoy taking up new enthusiasms and running with them as long as they last...and then suddenly switching horses - even mid-stream - if that's what comes next. As long as we hold on with fierce loyalty to the unchangeables, the rest is really all play. I'm eager to see what interests and projects your year will bring!

    And I like the new look of the blog... This dark charcoal background sets off your photographs much better, and the sidebar is easier to read this way. (But if you're still thinking of switching platforms, my offer still stands! I am almost 100% certain we can move all the content, too - or even perhaps consolidate all your old blogs in one easily-searchable place. There! See how my latest enthusiasm runs along?)

    Also - I am intrigued by several titles on your reading list. Perhaps you could offer reviews here when you finish one...?

    1. I think i am going to stay here after all...the new look makes me happy:) owen thinks it looks a bit military esque but i disagree:) as for projects and new ideas- all will be revealed i am quite sure after Thailand. Book revies seems risky to me..perhaps I will try, for you.

  2. I completely resonate with this, Tania! And what FC said too, it's all so very true. I love you and miss you, sister mine!
    P.S. Agree on the new blog look offsetting your fab instagram captures. Also feel like this particular instagram capture is one of the most fascinating the composition, content, etc. Mysterious and beautiful!

  3. hey remember.. you persevered and i quit... sometimes we want much but it lies outside of our gifts or time or discipline... i love that you kept going! You amaze me. I wish we would have spent more time together! Love you <3

    1. Oh sweet suzy, me as well. Perhaps though this os what i meeded most these past few years yes.