-that is me on Christmas day-
-trying to get used to the wrinkles that are showing up-
early in the morning hours
-3 am seems to be a favorite time-
when my body was screaming at me
-yes, it is still doing that, daily-
and i could feel a wave of hot,fierce anger begin to wash over me
i reminded myself
-barely-
that i am bigger than the pain.
that i have
*got this*
in the sense that i am well practiced and have nothing to fear.
poems formed in my head,
words tumbling together
but the swollen fingers refused to grasp a pen
even lightly
so the words fell apart and drifted back to where they came
and i was left with
the darkness
-again-
i wanted to have an out of body experience so i
could gather up the broken pieces of
now
in my arms
and whisper to each one,
that i will not break, i will be well, this too shall pass.
i wanted to
be a fortune teller
telling myself stories of my future wholeness.
but of course, we are not meant to know our futures
so instead i wait for the light to come and i comfort myself that somewhere it is morning time and people are starting their tea and saying their morning prayers and begining a fresh new day.
morning always arrives
-yes-
and i return to myself to
delight in my present
through gratitude work
spoken thanksgiving
and projects
that will stretch me
creatively
spiritually,
emotionally,
mentally
and
physically
the morning always comes.
i cling to that..
This is beautiful and raw. I feel it. I see myself here too.
ReplyDeleteYou are so pretty! And I love your poetry here. Looking forward to seeing you soon, Tania!
ReplyDeleteHello Tania, I love your about page! find you through Raining silence. Heather x
ReplyDelete