Tuesday, December 11, 2012

it looks like Christmas..

but it doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
Does that make sense to anyone else but me?
there is a whole lot of hurt going on
in this world
and it has become a bit of a constant uphill climb
for me
to not just roll down to the bottom of the hill
and become overwhelmed.
this has happened to me before
i am aware of others at the best of times
but  it also has to do alot
 with my own personal wellness levels.
if i am hurting
i am super tuned to all those hurting around me
in the whole world.
not just my immediate family
or neighbourhood or community.
it stretches far and wide
and you know,
as i do,
that the more we notice the sadness of humanity
the more we will find.
and so,
i drag myself part way up the hill
and do what i can here.
in my home,
in my neighbourhood,
in my community.
i send emails to orphanages in Thailand
hoping to make a difference even there
when we go
and i trust that others are doing the same
because i know i am not the only one
who feels compelled to change the world.
this is why it doesn't feel alot like christmas
because i am scurring around
 trying to dam up all the holes
 in the people i see
there are yet to be presents under the tree
and the house smells more like boy than gingerbread.
so i stop and take a deep breathe
 and remember
to keep it simple here
and to make memories here
 and to celebrate
that we are here
 together as a family.
i don't stop caring
and helping others
i just bring it into balance again
and i trust.
 next week we will holiday bake
and holiday shop
and wrap and make merry.
and i will trust that i have done all i can do
to make the world brighter
and i will soak up
the family love that fills our house.
(i am so grateful for my family, so grateful, like bubble over grateful you know?)

1 comment:

  1. Nice to have you blogging again...and posting pretty pictures!

    For different reasons than yours (I suppose), I am very familiar with "looks like Christmas, doesn't *feel* like Christmas". The feeling always has to catch me by surprise - it's so fragile - it's rarely something I can start-up on my own.

    There are so many out there working to dam up the tears...you are in magnificent company, sister-of-the-world.