Tuesday, December 11, 2012

it looks like Christmas..

 
but it doesn't quite feel like Christmas.
 
Does that make sense to anyone else but me?
there is a whole lot of hurt going on
in this world
and it has become a bit of a constant uphill climb
for me
to not just roll down to the bottom of the hill
and become overwhelmed.
 
this has happened to me before
i am aware of others at the best of times
but  it also has to do alot
 with my own personal wellness levels.
if i am hurting
i am super tuned to all those hurting around me
anywhere.
in the whole world.
not just my immediate family
or neighbourhood or community.
it stretches far and wide
and you know,
as i do,
that the more we notice the sadness of humanity
the more we will find.
and so,
i drag myself part way up the hill
and do what i can here.
in my home,
in my neighbourhood,
in my community.
i send emails to orphanages in Thailand
hoping to make a difference even there
when we go
and i trust that others are doing the same
because i know i am not the only one
who feels compelled to change the world.
 
this is why it doesn't feel alot like christmas
because i am scurring around
 trying to dam up all the holes
 in the people i see
and
there are yet to be presents under the tree
and the house smells more like boy than gingerbread.
 
so i stop and take a deep breathe
 and remember
to keep it simple here
and to make memories here
 and to celebrate
that we are here
 together as a family.
 
 
 
i don't stop caring
and helping others
i just bring it into balance again
and i trust.
 
 
 next week we will holiday bake
and holiday shop
and wrap and make merry.
and i will trust that i have done all i can do
to make the world brighter
and i will soak up
the family love that fills our house.
 
(i am so grateful for my family, so grateful, like bubble over grateful you know?)
 

1 comment:

  1. Nice to have you blogging again...and posting pretty pictures!

    For different reasons than yours (I suppose), I am very familiar with "looks like Christmas, doesn't *feel* like Christmas". The feeling always has to catch me by surprise - it's so fragile - it's rarely something I can start-up on my own.

    There are so many out there working to dam up the tears...you are in magnificent company, sister-of-the-world.

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