the reality is some things remain

 

here's the thing.

i assumed that this was going to be a short term relationship.

i didn't really understand what the diagnosis meant.

and i ignored them,

at least the parts i could ignore,

 for the first few years anyhow.

 

why make friends with something that is just going to go away

right?

there didn't need to be an acceptance or understanding because

i believed this was a temporary thing.

 

not anymore.

 

oh  acceptance

you can be a bitter pill to swallow.

 

now,

in hindsight

 

oh beloved hindsight

 

i realize it is time to shed some light,

accept some definitions and confess

that i spend a whole lot of time on the couch.

 

 

chronic illnesses by definition

are ones that

do.not.go.away.

they go into remission if one is fortunate

and they take long vacations from your body

if one is fortunate

however,

they reside within you

and i don't know about you,

but if something is sticking around for the rest of my life,

we are going to need to come to peace with each other.

 

what is means to be

living with a chronic illness

 is not easily understood

and it is hard,

 i now understand

 to know what to do.

 what to say.

 how to be

 with someone who has one.

 

(i am tricky and that can make navigation challenging)

 

we want to see people well. whole. thriving.

when that doesn't happen it gets confusing.

and it hurts and we want to fix and find solutions.

 

 

trust me,

i appreciate that and

i am very confused most days with all of this and wish there was an easy fix.

 

(but i am tricky and that can make navigating solutions challenging)

 

there are articles and books and support forums and all sorts of advice

that floats around and diets and plans, and miracle cures, and manifesting and positive thinking strategies,

there are herbs and supplements and prayer groups

  miracles do happen

 

 

but the reality is

some things remain.

 

they remain.

 

(perhaps that is the miracle...abiding and remaining)

 

and while they remain the goal is to live as well as possible.

not necessarily physically well,

but emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, creatively

 

to sing the bravest song

 

even if you sing

only from the couch.

 

go here 

if you would like to

read more about living with chronic illness

(there are a lot of people who do)

the metaphore is a good one

(better than my vines from the other day)