Tuesday, August 9, 2011

prickly thorns

i have been treating myself poorly these past few days..
prickly thoughts to myself and unkind words about myself to my family
and i am noticing that when
i speak and think unkindly towards myself
i become prickly to the people around me...
the ones that are closest to me at least...

i figure that when i become aware of a problem
it must be getting pretty bad because i don't know about you
but i tend to live in a bit of denial about who i truly am.
i have become aware of the negative self thought
and self talk and that it is spilling over into my home life.
and also i am becoming  aware of the fact that i am actually
being a bit of a pill to my dear husband.


i have decided to pay attention to my wise self
who is telling me to
be gentle, and loving, and graceful
and forgiving
towards myself.
i am trying to listen to my wise self
who is telling me
that i hurt more than myself when
i berate myself, or devalue myself
i am hurting those whom i love very much
and those who love me very much.
i am going to work hard
at stripping the prickles from my self talk
and instead
think gently about who i am.

i have a quote beside my computer that says
"only speak words that make souls stronger"
and i try hard to practice this with those around me
but i haven't been practicing it with myself at all.

so today
i am starting again.
i am telling myself that i am an alright person.
i am pretty good at my job..
and i am great at juggling the demands of my life
i also take a decent photo
and i can keep my white couch pretty white!
that's enough
without making me feel uncomfortable!

be kind to yourself today dear readers!
(and no, i don't know why there is a wierd square in the photo.)

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