Saturday, April 9, 2011

it's miracle week!

this is the week where i find out if my medication is working...
it has been a long six weeks, and i often was convinced it had already been that long
only to have Owen patiently point out on the calendar that "no, it's only been 4 weeks"
and i would sigh and proclaim dramatically that the medicine just wasn't working! and
i was going to stop taking it! and this was all ridiculous!
so now, here i am, six weeks in and about to find out.
i am weaning off my prednisone this week and that so far has not been pretty
but i must remain optimistic!
alot of this illness has become nothing less than a mental battlefield,
which helps me understand the struggle that so many people go through on a daily basis
as they deal with mental illness or chronic illness of so many kinds.
it will be a year in a few weeks that i was diagnosed
and it has been a roller coaster
and it may or may not be over
and the thought of that is very discouraging
yet, in the big picture a year is so short and i have grown so much as a person that how could i regret any of this?
 i know that i have the ability to control every aspect of this condition
except the physical.
i can choose to deal or not deal  properly with the emotional roller coaster
through therapy, strategies, goal setting, daily affirmations,supportive people around me,honouring my body
and all sorts of other strategies.
these in themself can be exhausting and they are time consuming
yet i noticed when i stopped trying a few weeks back,
my condition deteriorated.
i became sicker both physically and mentally and i am in the process of
trying again to manage what i can manage
and leave the rest to medicine:)
i admire your family and your commitment to understanding and working with Elijah.
it sounds like your homework will be very eye opening and life changing.
i am looking forward to tomorrow's post from you!
i love ya!

1 comment:

  1. First let me say that I love your picture!
    Also, isn't it interesting that thogh thle is with the physical, it affects the mental...
    Praying that God becomes even more real and tangiable!