it's miracle week!

this is the week where i find out if my medication is working...

it has been a long six weeks, and i often was convinced it had already been that long

only to have Owen patiently point out on the calendar that "no, it's only been 4 weeks"

and i would sigh and proclaim dramatically that the medicine just wasn't working! and

i was going to stop taking it! and this was all ridiculous!

so now, here i am, six weeks in and about to find out.

i am weaning off my prednisone this week and that so far has not been pretty

but i must remain optimistic!

alot of this illness has become nothing less than a mental battlefield,

which helps me understand the struggle that so many people go through on a daily basis

as they deal with mental illness or chronic illness of so many kinds.

it will be a year in a few weeks that i was diagnosed

and it has been a roller coaster

and it may or may not be over

and the thought of that is very discouraging

yet, in the big picture a year is so short and i have grown so much as a person that how could i regret any of this?

 i know that i have the ability to control every aspect of this condition

except the physical.

i can choose to deal or not deal  properly with the emotional roller coaster

through therapy, strategies, goal setting, daily affirmations,supportive people around me,honouring my body

and all sorts of other strategies.

these in themself can be exhausting and they are time consuming

yet i noticed when i stopped trying a few weeks back,

my condition deteriorated.

i became sicker both physically and mentally and i am in the process of

trying again to manage what i can manage

and leave the rest to medicine:)

i admire your family and your commitment to understanding and working with Elijah.

it sounds like your homework will be very eye opening and life changing.

i am looking forward to tomorrow's post from you!

i love ya!