Wednesday, July 6, 2011

storing up treasures

ten years ago,
which seems like just yesterday
but also
a life time ago
there was alot of turmoil going on in my life
and of course,
people had things to say
because it seems that we humans are sometimes
unable to be quiet in the midst of turmoil
so we add comments and advice and accusations
and words of wisdom or whatever else we
feel we should say to make
usually ourselves feel better
 but sometimes the person who is in the middle of the mess as well.

so ten years ago someone had some pretty judgemental things to say to me.
and i listened.
and i carried those words with me
every single day.
they were pretty deeply buried
but there non the less
and would pop up and rear their ugly head
at the strangest times- incovenient times
sad times, lonely times, times of change and courage needing times.
until 2 weekends ago.
at a simple chance meeting at a coffee shop
 someone who didn't say those burden heavy words
was able to say different words-
and all the judgement went away.
i actually felt lighter, freer, liberated and so much better!
since then, i am deliberately making an effort
to let go of what is not mine.
to let go of the words and expectations that are put on me-
let go of the guilt i carry
and i am making room
in my heart and life
to store up treasures that are going to be life affirming
rather than guilt producing.

the canning jars in the photo are from a booth at the Saturday Moss St. Market.
i was in blissful hippy land for a wonderful morning
the same day that i had the random coffee shop weight loss experience!
it was a very.very.good day!

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