there are moments...

there are moments when i am so proud.

and there are moments when i shake my head

and wonder.

this is not one of those moments.

this is the i am so proud moment.

the moment when your heart swells a bit

and you sigh a tiny little sigh of relief

that something, anything

you taught and modelled and prayed for and bargained for

and was quite sure was lost forever

comes bubbling to the surface.

i am proud of this girl -

her dignity, her grace, her honesty, her ability to process

her willingness to be honest with herself, her care of others despite her pain,

her understanding of just what she needs

and her thoughtfulness at not dumping all her hurt and anger

at my feet, or on my head or anywhere else for that matter.

she is

making me proud.

and i

am honoured to be her mama.

now- no boys for a while please!!