sometimes i need to have a chat with myself
and use my "wise self" voice.
you know the one?
"what would the wise self say?" is a very helpful tool for me
when i begin to feel overwhelmed, discouraged or just start to lose my head.
on a particularly challenging day i will write out all the thoughts and false ideas that are swirling around in my head and my heart and then
i will take a deep breath and pick a different colour of pen
and respond to all that i have just spilled all over the paper.
in my wise tania voice.
the wisdom that i share with others when they ask,
that i know deep down in my heart to be true and kind and helpful.
the wise voice speaks love and acceptance and truth.
the wise tania is understanding, sometimes quite firm and always forgiving.
it goes something like this:
the house isn't clean and pretty these days.
the house is alive and full and has pretty corners. look at those flowers on the counter. i love the sun shining through them this morning.
my brain is full of hard, unanswered questions.
yay for being brave enought to ask. the answers will come. trust the process.
i am having headaches so much.
headaches are so unpleasant. drink more water and take tylenol if you need to.
use the tools available to you. go. now. drink more water.
i feel like i haven't had any time to be creative for myself.
i love your creative self. Schedule some time on the calendar right now to look forward to.
i found those examples in my journal from last year when i was feeling particularly sick and overwhelmed.
reading them now, i notice a theme.
i was complaining. this is okay. somedays i need to complain.
i also see, and this continues to be a struggle for me,
i wasn't taking care of me. of myself.
i would wait for owen to come home, complain about my headache and he would give me water and tylenol.
i am quite capable of doing this myself you know. i just don't like to.
my wise self encourages others.
my wise self encourages me.
i just need to remember to listen to her.