the forest

yesterday as i stumbled

afraid and at moments

truly terrified through my day

i went to the forest.

to the trees that i wandered through

daily when i was working.

it was pouring rain

and yet i felt compelled

to go.

to get out of the house,

away from the walls that i

thought were pressing in upon me

with untrue expectations and stories.

there was a familiar comfort to

pulling on my rubber boots and my raincoat

reminding me of a time not long ago

that kept me so busy and so fulfilled.

i walked down the path

and stopped to fix the paper chain

that still hangs bravely from it's branches.

i stopped also at the love birds

we had hung and read the words.

love.

peace.

hope.

and finally i stopped

at the magnificent tree,

the tree that holds mystery

and speaks of past harm

and present resiliance.

the rain drops and tears

mingled together on my cheeks

it was hard to tell where they started

and ended.

when i returned home,

to homeschooling and dinner prep

and laundry and floor sweeping

i felt more grounded.

still slightly terrified

(those feelings took almost all day to disipate)

but more secure

in the comfort that comes from spending time in nature.

i am so blessed to live right beside a sanctuary.

the river is swollen with rain and threatening to cover the trail soon.

the path is becoming more puddle filled each hour

and there are days soon when i won't be able to wander safely there.

i am grateful for the comfort that comes

from wandering among the trees

or sitting by the running water.

today is a brighter day.

the rain is still pouring down

but my heart and my head and my soul

are speaking kindly to each other.

to me.

and there is gentle love coming this way.