yesterday as i stumbled
afraid and at moments
truly terrified through my day
i went to the forest.
to the trees that i wandered through
daily when i was working.
it was pouring rain
and yet i felt compelled
to get out of the house,
away from the walls that i
thought were pressing in upon me
with untrue expectations and stories.
there was a familiar comfort to
pulling on my rubber boots and my raincoat
reminding me of a time not long ago
that kept me so busy and so fulfilled.
i walked down the path
and stopped to fix the paper chain
that still hangs bravely from it's branches.
i stopped also at the love birds
we had hung and read the words.
and finally i stopped
at the magnificent tree,
the tree that holds mystery
and speaks of past harm
and present resiliance.
the rain drops and tears
mingled together on my cheeks
it was hard to tell where they started
when i returned home,
to homeschooling and dinner prep
and laundry and floor sweeping
i felt more grounded.
still slightly terrified
(those feelings took almost all day to disipate)
but more secure
in the comfort that comes from spending time in nature.
i am so blessed to live right beside a sanctuary.
the river is swollen with rain and threatening to cover the trail soon.
the path is becoming more puddle filled each hour
and there are days soon when i won't be able to wander safely there.
i am grateful for the comfort that comes
from wandering among the trees
or sitting by the running water.
today is a brighter day.
the rain is still pouring down
but my heart and my head and my soul
are speaking kindly to each other.
and there is gentle love coming this way.