oh January

you have been good to me

this first month of a sparkly new year.

there has been much gratitude.

and so much fun.

there was fresh  snow

and wonderful dates

to share with loved ones.

there have been many lessons learned

and a whole lot of hot tears.

journals written and painted and glued in

balance sought and sometimes found.

more pain than i have experienced during this journey

and an understanding of some of the many  gifts that are being given to me.

i dabbled in poetry

and we rearranged our house.

i continue to work away at my resolutions.

i feel that today,

after emerging from six long days of pain

that January has been more than i could have hoped for.

i am learning to slowly embrace this year and all that it holds for me.

there has been this crazy bouncing from solid to shaky

back to solid again

because i am seeing that

when i am fatigued everything is louder...you know?

the wonderful and the hard.

just louder.

i am striving to listen.

January has begun to teach me how.