Wednesday, October 10, 2012


fragile happens to me
when i have forgotten.
i have been so busy loving on others and keeping my days filled to the brim
that i have forgotten
forgotten to remember me.
i have neglected the me
the girl that still has the tiny voice
"take time..take time"
i find it easy to love others
and i delight in the moments.
i wouldn't trade them for anything
i need to also love on myself.
those moments of tea at starbucks,
the getting lost in the library moments
they are missed when i forget i love them
and need them.
we speak of self love
and i listen
to myself and others
 i listen well
but the words don't always sink in
it would seem.
 i will for a few days, or weeks even
take greater care
of my health
my heart
my soul
my mind
but then i let myself get squeezed out again
and i become
today is a fragile day.
this is not a suprise to me
because while i may lack in consistent
self love
i am very self aware 
recognizing the patterns in my life..
weeks filled with love filled experiences
leaves little time for
self love.
i spent all morning in my journal
as this helps repair me
i listened to worship music and sang along
because despite not attending a house of worship
i have a rock solid love affair with my Jesus.
this repairs me.
i ignore the dishes, and the canner sitting on the stove
from my burst of energy yesterday, 
i don't worry about dinner plans
and i consider having a bath in the middle of the day.
these actions repair me.
today i choose to seek out beauty
in my surrounding
 in myself and others.
today i deliver gifts and mail letters.
these offerings of love repair me
(because my heart truly is happiest when i am giving to others.)
these little moments didn't result in my fragile state growing but instead
helped me feel strong again.
weary still?
of course,
 than the fragile girl i began my day with

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