there is something about the firstborn..

 

there is something special about the firstborn.

the child that, as a parent, allowed me to  gently journey from

"i think i know how to raise my child"

to the reilization that really,

 i didn't  know as much as i thought i did.

 

this boy of mine was in no hurry to enter the world

and when he did,

i was left battered, bruised

but oh so,

head over heals in love.

 

this boy was a gorgeous baby

with his dark hair and long eyelashes

he delighted me as an easy going infant and oh, so sweet toddler.

 

this boy, my eldest child,

he is a mixture of me, his dad and himself.

headstrong and driven

talented and generous.

 

this boy is a natural chef

 and nothing about him delights my heart more

than when i see him loving on raw ingredients and creating magic.

 

this child of mine is one that i now have conversations with about

farm to table initiatives,

we speak of seed purchases and preserving food.

we compare ideas and sometimes disagree

 about what a dinner party should look like and include,

but for some reason,

 i can disagree with him and not feel that panic i feel with other people.

i know how solid our bond is and i know it is unbreakable.

he pushes me to think bigger and bolder.

 

he has dreams that i ache to see him reilize.

 

he is my firstborn.

my, oh so different than myself, child.

 i adore him and all he is becoming.

i am proud to count him in.