the view from here.

this is the view out of the car window today.

it's a gray, heavy, dark afternoon

the house is quiet....gideon and i are home.

and he doesn't talk alot.

i don't talk alot either these days.

i am trying harder to listen. to hear, not only the voices of those close to me,

but also the voices that i have silenced for a while.

the kind loving voices. the ones that build me up and remind me

of who i am. of where my value comes from. of my worth.

the voice that speak truth.

sometimes, i think we surround ourselves with so much noise, so many

voices, that we drown out the ones that only speak up when we stop to listen.

the house is quiet today so i can stop and listen

it isn't easy though. the loud, insistent voices that are well practiced at speaking

take up room in my heart and head quickly.

about silly things...meaningless jabs...seemingly unimportant comments

such as,

"wow! that quality paint is really expensive. you don't want to waste money on that, your art isn't that important, just keep using the dollar store brand."

seriously,

not life changing,

but also,

not words that build me up, edify me, remind me of my worth, my truth.

the truth of the situation is this.

i am worth investing in.

i am worth working on.

i am worth a $12 tube of paint

or the voices might remind me,

you should be doing this...you must be doing that...why aren't you being more this? there is so much to do!

and sometimes this is true.

that is where the balance comes in.

today, the shoulds and musts and mores

are not necessary.

it is a day of rest, of connection,of worship, of renewal, of fellowship

but that isn't what i am hearing.

i wonder what stops us from listening to the real voice.

what stands between us and the promises given to us?

and why do we continue to turn an ear to the

words that we are not meant to listen to.

i think we need to help each other.

remind each other of what is good and true.

i need to say to those around me

you are amazing! because really who isn't?

   you are a blessing! because really who isn't?

there is always a gift to find.

i think we need to stand up to the voices that want to

drown out the truth and say,

no. no. no.

please stop talking to me now.

i am listening elsewhere.

don't interupt!

most likely i will have to be firm about this at first.

put on my don't mess with tania voice,

(i am told i have one and it is very effective!)

and put those damaging,negative, doubting voices

out.

i am sending them out.

and replacing them with

the positive, trusting, loving voices instead.

that is my goal this week.

i will let you know how it goes.

the view from here

is always changing.

wishing for sun tomorrow.