Tuesday, February 1, 2011

a confession

this is the old me. a few summers ago, at my favorite place.
the beach.
with my family and an extra or two.
always an extra or two.
we prefer it that way i think.
you do too i have noticed.
it has been a month since i have been
publicly unveiling the
new me....i know that i 
am always being
"made new" but it is
strange doing it so publicly,
openly, with vulnerability.
i feel nervousness creeping in.
old hurts
wounds of past unkind acts
upon me
by others and some
self inflicted.
last night owen and i sat and pondered
fear and change
and the hard decisions that must be made
in order to truly grow and become whole.
and i spoke the truth that i am learning
i need my words, my actions and my life
to be congruent with one another.
i need to love myself enough
to honour myself enough
to believe in myself enough
to be one with my words,
and spoken
i felt passionate
about saying that is what i
and then,
sadness and fear
reared their heads
and i remembered
that i still have
much work
to do.

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