i want

to shake my house out and keep only that

which is useful and beautiful

to decorate trees in the forest

for you to stumble upon while walking

to become a crazy bird lady whose backyard is always singing

to splash my walls with gorgeous bright shiny colours that

sparkle in the darkest night

to sit at a table full of my nearest and dearest

sharing food and drink and conversations deep into the night

to go out and make such a difference in my little corner of the world

that it can't help but be just a little bit happier

to understand the depth of longsuffering love

so that i can extend it over and over again

to make cookies and candies and yummy nuts

  package them up

all sweetly and give them away with abundance

to crawl into bed at night and hold owen so tightly that

we both feel strong and renewed in the morning.

to rest in the comfort and knowlege that

 every little thing is going to be alright

and the big stuff will be too.

to be strong. stronger than i ever thought possible.

that is what i want today.