finding my community...

i've been thinking lots about community.

do i have one?

i certainly need one. 

i think we all do.

for some, family is community...

and i grew up with church being my community

and oh, it was a great one

that has seemed impossible to replace.

work can become a community..it felt that way when i was at Lighthouse.

but, really,

now that i am home

who is my community?

i think there is a strong connection forged through my online community

but it isn't quite the same.

the online community is freeing because there is an ease of sharing

that is free from the daily walking out of community life.

it isn't enough though really.

we need flesh and blood community as well.

the people that sit with you, bring you meals, laugh together in the living room or around the kitchen table, the conversations that make you think and the sharing of milestones.

the kind of community that gets together and responds to a need or a celebration or a deep sorrow.

owen and i talk of this sometimes.

family is a strong source of support and friendship

but still, different.

important and forever and reassuring

but still not quite what i ponder is missing from my life.

we have concluded that community is hard to find.

alot would say that they find their community in church.

or in clubs and organized on going activites.

perhaps a tight circle of friends would make a community.

an author i read recently said that a person just needs to keep asking the question

"where am i susposed to be?" and the answer will come.

so i am asking.

so far, all is quiet

but in that quietness i am forging bonds with family members

collecting sisters whom i adore

and connecting with old friends in a real and valuable way.

i have pen pals and online connections and

my children fill a large portion of my day and we are transitioning from

mother and son to mother and friend.

however,

sometimes, when i read community boards

 like the one The Forge has

i feel a longing...to belong to something bigger again.

so i will keep asking the question

"where is my community?"