right now..

right now,

this is my breakfast.

i prefered bacon and hashbrowns.

right now,

the honey that i found

so charming and sticky

and profound just the other day

is  making a mess all over my counter

and i am not amused.

i am also not cleaning it up

apparantly.

i am blogging instead.

right now,

i am contemplating

the mess of a canvas i made

by dumping gray paint all over it.

why gray?

i have no idea.

i am not sure

if gray should be

grey or gray?

right now,

there is a huge pile of leaves

waiting to be composted.

that will happen tomorrow.

i am very fond of piles of leaves

but am craving a

tidy back yard

to gaze out my window at.

right now,

the house smells like brownies

and this is not cool

because i can not eat them.

usually this doesn't bother me anymore.

today it does.

right now,

i am complaining.

i know this.

i can feel it and hear it and i don't even care.

i am letting my complaints out

because then they will disappear.

right now,

i feel like laughing and crying.

at the same time.

i hate that feeling

when it comes.

it makes me feel foolish and like a little

snotty nosed child again.

right now,

i have a to do list on the fridge for the weekend.

there is nothing fun on it.

this will not do.

right now,

i am starting to feel better.

my fingers are slowing down

as they dash across the keyboard

and i can sense

a bit of the ridiculousness

floating away.

that might also

be because it is  nap time.

i am going to miss nap time when they are gone.

i am going to miss

awake time too.

right now,

i am going to go make a new to do list,

wipe up the honey,

make Gideon eat

all the brownies

and leave the canvas

to dry and see what i think.

and maybe after nap time

we will go play in the leaves.