Wednesday, December 7, 2011

more about that

i am a yes girl.
i love to say yes, as much as possible.
i have parented with a yes mentality.
"only say no when you really have to"
that type of yes girl.
alot of the books i read
spread the "just say yes!" good news.
and i believe that it is an amazing way
to open my life up to new experiences, to strong relationships,
to compassionate and generous living.
and those are all very important to me.
but while reading a few days ago
i come across the simple sentence-

learning to say no in one place
so i can say yes in another.

woohh. i say to myself.
that is what i need to do.
this is what i am starting to do.

but i am struggling with the no.
the no to working for a year.
the no's i am having to say to my children.
the no's i am constantly telling myself around food.
the no's that come with a smaller budget.
the no's that come from lack of energy

now obviously i do say no.
but not without hesitation, guilt, second guessing
and more guilt.
a whole lot of guilt it would seem.
just for saying no.
this is not cool. i don't think.
nor does it create compassion and generosity in myself
towards me.
( i am trying to learn self compassion and generosity- tricky biz i tell you)

it also seems that this simple sentence is saying
yes. it is saying yes, with boundaries.
the boundary of the well placed no.
that will make room for a resounding Yes!

still learning.

1 comment:

  1. This is always a good conversation to have with ourselves - and with others, so thank you for 'talking with me' through this post :)

    One thing I read, or someone told me about, was that when you get 'better at' saying no (hmmm, not sure if 'better' is achievable but...) experiment with saying no without adding a justification....that is sooo hard.

    Somehow it seems the justification of "no I can't" with "because" is an attempt to relieve some of the self-imposed - and un-justified guilt...

    Looking forward to hearing about all the resounding and empowering yes' that your 'making room for more no's' creates :)

    All the best to you Tania!
    We are all cheering along with you on this journey! xxoo