Monday, December 19, 2011

shadows across the joy

i'm not suprised
to have them arrive.

the shadows that like to
steal the joy
the optimism,
the gratitude

it is my last week of work
and there are deadlines looming ahead
what with christmas and appointments and such.

there is the beautiful blog that i discovered this morning
perfectly composed and beautiful
and it intimidated me
rather than washing over me with beauty.

there is also the sorting and packing up
of the daycare that is beginning
to overwhelm me
what to do with all that stuff
(don't worry mom-i am keeping it)

there's that glimpse in the mirror
that reminds me
that i've been a bit neglectful of myself these days.

what does one do once they no longer
have a job to hide their identity in?

how do i walk through this
transition gracefully, with confidence
and a sense of hope and optimism?

one day at a time.
staying in the moment.
recognizing the anxiety
and giving it space but not power.

making to do lists and crossing things off
one by one.

trusting that i am exactly where i am meant to be
at this moment.

believing that  i have a
bright and shiny future
just as i believe others do

it was strange
to not blog for the past three
and it felt odd returning here
as if
the daily habit
had been broken
and wouldn't come back easily.
my words don't flow as easily as they did last week.
it is comforting to return to this space.

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