shadows across the joy

i'm not suprised

to have them arrive.

the shadows that like to

steal the joy

the optimism,

the gratitude

it is my last week of work

and there are deadlines looming ahead

what with christmas and appointments and such.

there is the beautiful blog that i discovered this morning

perfectly composed and beautiful

and it intimidated me

rather than washing over me with beauty.

there is also the sorting and packing up

of the daycare that is beginning

to overwhelm me

what to do with all that stuff

(don't worry mom-i am keeping it)

there's that glimpse in the mirror

that reminds me

that i've been a bit neglectful of myself these days.

what does one do once they no longer

have a job to hide their identity in?

how do i walk through this

transition gracefully, with confidence

and a sense of hope and optimism?

one day at a time.

staying in the moment.

recognizing the anxiety

and giving it space but not power.

making to do lists and crossing things off

one by one.

trusting that i am exactly where i am meant to be

at this moment.

believing that  i have a

bright and shiny future

just as i believe others do

it was strange

to not blog for the past three

days

and it felt odd returning here

as if

the daily habit

had been broken

and wouldn't come back easily.

my words don't flow as easily as they did last week.

it is comforting to return to this space.