i can feel it today.
the constant dripping
the relentless force that is being tossed my way.
moment by moment.
the cracks start to widen
and the shoulders feel tighter.
you learn of more suffering or heartache
and share burdens with others
and then it comes again,
in the form of words or actions or lack of either
and the cracks become deeper
and all the
doubt and blame and fear
starts to find easy ways to the surface.
no, no you say fiercly,
stuffing them back down,
but to no avail.
hot tears. tight chest.
erosion of the person i am trying so hard to be.
is this something that can be stopped?
or even prevented in the first place?
and is there not so much good that comes
when we allow ourselves to go where we are meant to journey?
yes, it is painful.
but i know that pain
is not to be shyed away from or feared.
doesn't make it any easier.
but i know that i know
that pain, like any other emotion
is doing what it needs to do in my life.
erosion is altering what exists
and something new arrives
i can't wait to see what it is.