Tuesday, October 18, 2011

getting out.

i created this little lady at a workshop on sunday.
a workshop that i had no intention
of going to
and that i staggered into
after a tough
weekend with my health
and a wonderful saturday night with my owen.

it is pure desperation sometimes
that drags me out of bed on the weekend.
desperation to feel like an adult.
to connect with owen over more than dinner and chores.

to create something for the over three year old set
is also something that i desperatly need to do sometimes.

so much of my day is spent in the delightful
mindset of young freedom.
there is alot of wonder and delight
and accomplishment and emotional outpouring
going on at my house all day long.
and i love that.
i love the love. i love the wonder. i love the exchanges.
i also need to stretch myself somehow too.
i need to feel the challenge of getting out of my sweats
and venturing into the world that i am a reluctant part of.
why do i need to do this?
because i miss experiences
by spending all my days and nights in my own four walls
i miss connections with people
i don't get to stretch myself in ways that can be fun and liberating.
i miss out on the beauty that is all around me.

lately gideon has been taking photos with his iphone
for me.
how sweet is that.
 my man boy is coming home and  announcing
that he saw a ladybug on the bus today and took a photo for me.
capturing his day.
like i do.

i have ladybugs in my backyard as well
but i also want to meet them
in the suprising places
the cracks in the pavement outside the book store
in the folds of my jacket after a stroll along the water's edge.

this weekend helped me.
there was alot of beauty
in places
that i had no intention of ever going to.
i am glad i went.

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