when i woke up this morning

and i was in the place

between awake and asleep

i pulled the blankets

tight around me

and refused

to enter the day.

i wanted to stay in that place

where warmth and comfort

are found

and the challenges and joys of the day

are yet to be experienced.

but then i felt the tug

the hopeful and optimistic opportunities waiting

beauties that i would miss

if i didn't brave the cold morning

and begin again.

my thoughts turned and wandered

and i found myself thinking of

times of the past

easier times

spent in the company of

friends and family

and i

suddenly reilized

just how alone we can become

if we are not

careful to continue to build connections

to reach out

to allow ourselves to be reached.

it is easier i think to be alone

but

i also think

it must be souls shrinking

heart hardening.

lonely

today will be spent

(gently)

accomplishing that which must be done

dishes, laundry, you know the stuff

that is suddenly so hard to accomplish.

mixed in with some soul connecting

and i intend to look and find

beauty

in so many places.

also, i am wearing a hand me down

expensive shirt from hannah

so not only do i feel

luxurious and rich

i feel like she is attached to me some how

even when we are apart.