Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Closing the gap...

Dear Suzy,

i am seeking to close the gap between my deepest dreams and desires and my daily reality. that is part of the whole balance thing i keep bringing up. i am seeking to close the gap between my deeply held beliefs and values and my attitudes, actions and behaviours.
today tested that.
 today i allowed my attitude to have the upper hand. i allowed my thoughts to focus  not on what was positive and affirmative but on the little niggly things that come with any given day. and all of a sudden i found myself having a  bad day. it took a serious readjustment on my part, along with a toddler sized tea party to shake myself back. today i was immature  in my negativity. thankfully, sequestered away by myself for most of the day prevents me from making too much of a fool of myself!
i believe very strongly in the power of positive thinking, in affirmations, in seeking out the good in every situation. i believe that our thoughts are like magnets. what we think about and focus on shows up in our lives. i have seen my day come undone based on my thoughts and nothing else. i have also walked through dark trials and tribulations firmly rooted in the belief that all things do work together for good. nothing is too big. nothing.
so, if believing that all things work together for good is one of  my  beliefa how have i allowed the gap  to get there? more importantly, how am i closing the gap?
this blog is a call to action for me, an accountablilty with you so i can't babble on about these thoughts without a plan.
here's what i am doing.
 I am recognizing there is a gap. that is the start. the gap probably on most days isn't really that wide, but after a bad day, it can feel that way. so recognition is key. keeping it in perspective. not the end of the world, but room for improvement.
secondly, i am taking ownership of my present circumstances..big and small and remembering that every circumstance is an opportunity to develop and grow...with lots of mercy and grace thrown in there..lots..
as well, i am continuing to be faithful in the small things. if i have said i am going to work on something specific for that day or that moment, then i am making sure i  am getting it done. this includes things that one would think would not be difficult. for me, a huge faithfulness piece is taking my medication properly. that struggle is a whole blog post on its own if i ever feel so brave. taking those pills every morning is a monumental act of being faithful. monumenal. 
 and finally, i am closing the gap by surrounding myself with positive affirmations, words, images, music,  conversations and thoughts.
that's it. those are my thoughts on closing the gap.
i love you. tania
ps...last week one day it was raining victoria style rain. dark, windy, gray, miserable kinda rainy day. miss madyson, who is two and a little bit was standing on the little red couch looking out the window. i made some mention of the weather and how it was not a very nice day. she looked at me and said "oh  tania what a beautiful day! it's a beautiful day!"  and you know, for the rest of the day it was pretty beautiful inside our hearts.

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