Sunday, January 2, 2011

Confessions and Dreams of a Middle Aged Woman...

Dear Tania
The beginning of a new year…. An opportunity for a fresh start…
Sitting in the hospital I hear a baby cry and old lady trying to breathe. My daughter has a tear rolling down her face. "I just want to go home", "I hate hospitals". I can’t blame her after the past two years, too many trials and not enough triumphs.
I reassure her we’ll only be there for a short time. Thankfully, the hospital agrees with my timeline and we are in and out in 3 hours. Sitting and waiting however I can’t help but think… this is not the start to the New Year I wanted. Another hour rolls by giving me more time for reflection…. Perhaps it is the right place to start the year! I want to change my thinking thus changing my world. Reality this world is always going to offer up challenges, shortfalls, and disappointments. The change in my world has got to come from me not from external circumstances.
So what are the changes I want to see… hmmm… they’re all pretty big. Ambitious goals that would frighten a sensible person. Dare I share them? Will I make a fool of myself? Perhaps I’ll let them leak out one at a time over the next few blogs. For right now it the simple discipline of just keeping a blog for a year that I’m willing to confess. That seems big already given my struggle with grammar
and my track record for starting journals and stopping shortly after. So here it is…Blog #1. Confessions and dreams of a middle age woman. Confession 1: Not enough discipline. Dream 1: Gain more self discipline. Suzy

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