Jan 15 2011                                   Blog #6 Confessions and dreams of a middle age woman

Dear Tania

One might think that you and Rick were talking this week… lol.. His sermon and your message were quite connected… From both of you a real sense that God loves me as I am. Not as I strive to be or who I am not or who I could be… but who I am. And miracle of miracle, He chooses to include me in His plans… Of course it goes without saying that the ‘me’ is also the ‘you’. This simple message of love and grace is so freeing if we can ever grasp it. I remember listening to some tapes about God’s grace and love for me when I first came to BC. My friend Jackie shared them with me. I remember clearly the overwhelming message of love and acceptance that flooded my soul. I wept for joy knowing that nothing I could do, even if it were to be as great as Mother Teresa… or nothing I could do that was bad, the worst that I could imagine… would change how God felt about me. Incredible. Of course the next part of that is loving ourselves in balance, such as God loves us. No small feat to be sure.

And isn’t that what ‘balance’ is…. Loving, working, learning, doing… Going back to my  

 own goals… one of them being to gain some self discipline… this blog is helping.    I am  feeling a sense of responsibility to myself to be faithful. And yet today’s blog is a day late...

    again… a disappointment to myself for being late… a delight to myself that I’m not just

 walking away from it but pushing through.

 Confession: Not sure I will ever get things in order… I feel overwhelmed with all that I am trying to pull together. Meanwhile… My Dream? To use my time wisely today and tomorrow till the next blog. Ask me if I did… I’ll need that accountability… (How childish is that… but with not working it is easy to flutter and waste time) Bite size pieces. Reminds me of the movie ‘Bob’… I need to dig that out and watch it again...very funny. By the way Tania watched a movie this week ‘Letters to God’… recommend it. Worth watching. Invite Hannah I think she will enjoy it.

As always, with love Suzy