Jan 3 2011 Blog #3 Confessions and dreams of a middle age woman
Dear Tania
So technically it’s Monday morning… day 3 of our blog. I feel like I’m cheating though because it’s only 12:24 at night. I went to bed at 6 only to wake up at 8:38 fully refreshed and ready to go… so began the wait to get tired again.
On the surface there doesn’t seem to be any connections. After all, one is abstract and one is clearly people. One is painted the other is a photograph. One is colour, the other is black and white. Yet what they share is time. Kandinsky’s Composition #8 (a favorite) was painted in 1923. This picture interestingly was photographed in 1923. They share no similar boundaries, precepts or insights. Kandinsky is still not widely understood, conversely what is not to understand in the photograph. It’s obvious. Yet there is a connection I see between these two works. I identify with both. Much of my life is the photograph. Predictable, easy to understand, relational and basically the woman is like me; happy to be walking this life with my husband and family. Yet undeniably much of my life is like Composition #8. Not clearly understood, a lack of boundaries in certain areas, and a strong desire for the imaginative, excitement of pushing the envelope to achieve something great!
I never wanted to be ordinary. No 2.5 kids, station wagon or suburban life for me. I remember in grade 5 be assigned a project on Native Studies. We had to pick a Native Clan and do research on them. As always, wanting to be different and explore the unknown, I picked some isolated unknown tribe in Arizona or New Mexico. Of course there were no books or research available to me. My teacher urged to pick local known tribes such as the Mohawks or Iroquois… but as you can guess… I refused. I think I got a C- or even a D on the report. Story of my life, maybe…
Now at middle age it’s more of the black and white photo that I’m paying attention too. Need to pay off my dam student loans… (a Kandinsky effort in my late 30’s) and try to help the ‘blessings’ in my life get established! Weight loss (leak #1) and establish a strong career (leak #2) … there it is. Confession #2. Get things in order. File my income tax from last year. That’s right… I didn’t file yet. Did I mention that I’m not a fan of government bureaucracy? And I have good reasons… it’s not laziness or not caring…. It’s dealing with the government grrr… but I’ll save that for another blog. Meanwhile… My Dream? To be Student Loan free in 5 years! Hence, the career emphasis! If only I was motivated for $ and not Art when I entered College.
Suzy
Thanks for sharing Suzanne, and NTMU Tanya. It does take courage to be truthful when blogging, so often we are posturing when we make statements or submit our thinking for the critique of others. Hey its no real secret, most of us fight the battle of the bulge, especially after the Christmas season. Me, I'm sure I gained 10+ pounds. So its a natural extension to want to lose weight, and embarking upon a new year its probably in the top 3 NY resolutions people make. Good Luck with it too, we can do it!
ReplyDeleteWell, I started this comment to say what a great idea blogging with someone else, it should be easier because its more like answering a letter, and you can surely inspire each other with ideas, things to write about. I love to write, so in one way, im jealous already!
Good Luck and God Bless you Richly in this New Year!
Thanks Alf! It's true one feels like covering up when blogging but I am determined to be as honest as I can because first and foremost, this is for me as a sort of reflection/discipline process! So we shall see how transparent I can keep it. Keep checking in with us. God Bless You too!
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